Right around Sarah Catherine’s birthday last month, a good friend sent me this poem.
It so perfectly captures the thoughts that go through my head when someone inevitably asks me how many children I have. And it’s the prefect answer to the question.
I remember writing about this very topic last year around this time. I was still in the height of my grief and I had no idea how to answer. I would feel terrible not honoring Sarah Catherine by including her in our children, but I’d stumble over the question and awkward silence would follow.
It’s taken a lot of time and a lot of courage, but I am finally able to speak up and “count” Sarah. In fact, just before I saw the poem above, I was with a group and someone said to me, “you have only have 2 children.” It halted me in my tracks and I finally spoke up.
“No, I have three.”
“We lost Sarah Catherine, but she still counts. I have three.”
There was a slight awkward pause, the person admitted to forgetting about our loss (ouch, but understandable) and then the conversation moved on. Thankfully with none of the pitying looks that I wrote about last time.
I stood up for myself. I stood up for Sarah Catherine. It wasn’t a huge thing. It was 2 sentences, but it made a huge impact, at least for me.
It showed me that I can include Sarah Catherine when I tell people about my children. And as long as I handle the situation with confidence, others can feel sad with me, instead of pity for me.
It’s a huge step in the right direction.
So, how many children do I have?
I have three.
I have two that run and one that flies.
Dude is 6, Spud is 4, and Sarah Catherine would be 1.
Happy Birthday Dear Sarah....share your cake with Aunt Linda and Grandpa Dick.ReplyDelete