“I held you every second of your life”
-Stephanie Paige Cole
Grief is a funny thing. It seems like everything can be going fine and then there’s something (big or little) that slams you back into it.
Sarah’s due date was March 9, so I should be in my last month of pregnancy.
A lot of my friends and acquaintances were due right around the same time as me. It was going to be so fun having friends with babies the same age as mine.
Instead, every time I log onto Facebook, I see pictures of healthy pink babies and their proud happy parents. I’m happy for my friends but it makes me so sad. They’re enjoying their babies and I’m waiting for the ground to thaw, so I can bury mine.
I get angry with myself for being saddened by their happiness.
Despite the occasional sadness, I have so much to be thankful for. I have the most amazing support system in Hubs. And I am so incredibly thankful for Dude and Spud. A lot of the literature I read talks about mothers of stillborn babies experiencing aching arms, and feeling empty because there is no baby to hold. But whenever my arms feel empty, I have my two sweet obliging boys to fill them. Despite our loss, I am truly, truly blessed!
I know how you feel, my sister and I were due a month apart from each other. I lost my baby and my nephew was born. I was so mad at myself because I had a hard time being as happy as I wanted to be about my nephew. I had a lot of friends have babies around the same time, and similar feelings followed. It's hard, but I think you are doing a great thing by talking about it! I blogged about my experience in the hopes that it would help me deal, as well as maybe give hope to anyone that thinks they are suffering alone.ReplyDelete
Don't feel bad about grieving Amy, you deserve that tiny little luxury. All of your friends understand and know that your grieving does not take away from their happiness. Love to all.ReplyDelete